For some reason I had high hopes for this release, for I had never heard anything from Funeral Depression, and given the unoriginal yet fitting name and eyecatching album cover, I snatched this hoping to stumble upon another I’m In A Coffin, alas, I did not find such a gem.
Funeral Depression is a Polish one man funeral doom / “ambient” project, with a couple demos, an ep and a full length from 2011 under their belt. The man behind all the action, credited as “Belzebub” does all the instruments and electronics, but chose to leave out the vocals and keep Funeral Depression a mostly instrumental band (sans ‘Inner Pain’). Along with the standard guitar, bass and drum setup there is also the inclusion of backing synthesizers that attempt to fill the music and give a feeling of depressive beauty to the raunchy distorted guitars and the plane jane sounding drums. But I hate to say it folks, this album is just flat out fucking boring and unoriginal.
Clocking in at a hair over 50 minutes this album is quite labor intensive, for it took everything out of me to actually listen to the entire thing and frankly, I want my 50 minutes back Bubz.
As a big fan of actual ambient, it pisses me off when bands get added “ambient” tags to their music, simply because they use a delay pedal and have minimalistic parts. I also can’t get over how basic the drumwork is, it’s so rudimentary that it resembles that of a 12 year old on Youtube covering Crazy Train, I just don’t get it, it truly is that bad. Also, the guitars do indeed have a few interesting parts, but overall it is just painful to sit through the clean interludes and transitions for it sounds, much like the drumming, like textbook sample patterns that anyone could replicate with a starter guitar kit. Cleanly played the guitars sound alright, but once the distortion or any effect is added it just sounds flat and awkward, and coupled with the even more distant sounding drums it just makes for a really discombobulated sound all around. There are parts where transitions will just flat out stop and out of the blue a new one will begin, it’s as if Bubz forgot what he was doing and just switched to something new to fill out the time. And on the track that actually does feature vocals, the only thing that Bubz is able to do is convey the sound a baby makes just as it shits its pants inside of a dark cave somewhere. The attempts at the kvlt black metal sound just completely fails and it just sounds as if a small child is being fed hot cider over and over, again, this is just another failed attempt at what other bands have actually done better. At the end of the day sure it could be way worse, but that doesn’t make this release good, or even worth listening to.
SHIT RATING: BAD
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